Participants’ demographic profile
The participants were 16 young married women survivors of self-immolation in West Azerbaijan province with a mean age of 26.73 (SD = 2.58; range= 16 to 40) years. Half of them completed primary education, half were housewives, seven were employed, and only one was a student. Most of them had arranged marriages and resided in rural areas. Their female relatives have also performed self-immolation in the past years.
Qualitative findings
Four themes emerged from the data including: (1) antecedents of self-immolation, (2) suicidal ideation method, (3) defeat and humiliation, and (4) pathway to recovery as shown in Table 1. These four themes are supported by sub-themes and participants’ quotes denoted as for example, P1 (Participant number 1) to prevent their identity.
Table 1. Themes and supporting sub-themes that emerged from the data
Themes
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Sub-themes
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Antecedents of self-immolation
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- Overwhelming family situation and rules
- Feelings of disappointment, anger deprivation, depression, shame and grief
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Suicidal ideation method
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- A final solution to their sufferings
- A way for family to feel guilty
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Defeat and humiliation
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- Accepting own mistake
- Blaming self for the wrong decision
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Pathway to recovery
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- An awakening process
- Seeking family support to start a new life
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Theme 1: Antecedents of self-immolation
There are many factors that led to women deciding to self-immolate. These factors were mostly due to psychological factors experienced being in an unbearable family situation and feelings of helplessness that nobody cared to listen to them.
Sub-theme 1.1: Overwhelming family situations and rules
Being controlled by the obligatory rules of the family was reported as overwhelming. Such feelings induced psychological problems. The women experienced tensions, negative mood, conflicts, and inability to relate to others. In some instances, they also experienced domestic violence from their husbands. The suicide was their choice to free themselves from their intolerable situation.
“There are many days when my husband yelled at me and told me that I am so stupid and ugly. He told me he did not want to marry me. I tried to change his attitude, but I found him reluctant to speak with me. I was depressed and hid myself in another room to be safe from his verbal blame and physical violence. I think that suicide is the only way that I could escape from him.” (P1).
The women not only experienced unbearable situations from their husbands but also with their own family. They reported that the traditional Iranian patriarchal family dominates decisions about their future even arranging who they have to marry. The women reported being deprived of making their own decisions further exacerbating their psychological distress.
“Traditionally, in our family, my father makes decisions for everything, even our life or marriage. The independence of the daughter and her fate and expectations are ignored by male family members and elders which often create an unpleasant situation. Nobody dares to argue about my future. Nobody cared what I have to say.” (P12)
Sub-theme 1.2: Feelings of disappointment, anger, deprivation, depression, shame and grief
Feelings of disappointment, anger, deprivation, depression, shame and grief due to cultural and social contexts were expressed by participants in this study. In their minds, life was considered a terrible circumstance without any hope and they felt helpless. They thought that this situation puts an end to their freedom and believed that this kind of life equals death
“Even thinking of my life is frightening; imagine someone telling you that you have to marry a man that you do not love and continue your lifetime with him! I was constantly crying for my misfortune, deprivation and loneliness. My father told me I do not have the right to return to our home if I get a divorce and my family will be ashamed. It was terrible and I was disappointed and ready to die.”(P.9).
The participants also felt deprived and thus, became more depressed and jealous of other women who have more freedom and have better life than them.
“When I compare my life with other women in my family, I feel hatred towards myself, my husband and my circumstances. I do not have anything. We are too poor and have no bright future. I could not go out to get pills. So, self-immolation for me was the only way to kill myself.”(P.3).
Theme 2: Ideation of self-immolation method
Participants reported that there was really no hope in overcoming their unbearable sufferings so decisions were made without thinking of the consequences. They have knowledge of some of their family members who resorted to self-immolation so why not also follow what they did. They had this impression that it is okay after all.
Sub-theme 2.1: A final solution to their sufferings
Choosing self-immolation was a final solution to stop the women’s sufferings. It was difficult for them to think that they can continue their life in a difficult circumstance. This state was worse for the women who were married at an early age and for those who were not supported by their family and relatives.
“When my mother told me that I was only confused. I decided to burn myself but did not know how!? I suddenly poured gasoline on my head and then set my own body on fire.” (P.14).
Sub-theme 2.2: A way for family to feel guilty
Other participants resorted to self-immolation to make their family feel guilty for not letting them pursue their dreams. They reported that if their family feel guilty, then they can have the freedom to pursue their dreams.
I was a very clever student, but my family did not let me go to high school. Quarreling with my family made me think about suicide every day and I wanted to make them feel guilty. I thought self-burning is the only way to freedom. Nobody cared what I said. So, I decided to burn myself because I thought this method would kill me faster than the other methods.” P.10).
Theme 3: Defeat and humiliation
The consequence of self-immolation made the participants think about what they have done. They accepted the painful experience of doing it and the long recovery after surviving the act. They felt defeated for surviving and at the same time felt humiliated for doing it themselves as well as to their family.
Sub-theme 3.1: Accepting own mistake
Accepting own mistake after suicide were mentioned by the participants. All of them were regretful and stated that they will not repeat this wrong act. They believed that suicide was the result of being impatient; therefore, they blamed themselves for committing it.
“I want to marry again. I should not have tried to kill myself but I am happy to be alive. I did not tell about my experience of domestic violence to my family. Now I am very regretful for not revealing my secrets. What a stupid thing I have done! I will never do that again.” (P.6).
Sub-theme 3.2: Blaming self for the wrong decision
Some of them considered their own wrong behavior as the reason for their problems. They blamed the culture and the society but they also believed that they could also have done something to resolve the issues they were facing.
“I had no problem in my marital life. One day, I argued with my husband; I was so nervous, so I decided to kill myself. At present I am ashamed and asked myself why I did so?” (P.2).
Theme 4: Pathways to recovery
The experiences participants shared made them think about how they could recover even though they knew it is going to be a long process. They accepted that they have to be patient as they have learned a lot from this painful experience.
Sub-theme 4.1: An awakening process
The aftermath of self-immolation had been an awakening process for the participants. They reported that they should have done more reflections about the root cause of their problems. Being open about the problems they were experiencing may have abated their self-immolation.
“Thinking of my life was frightening. Imaging your family telling you all the time what to do and not do even if you are not happy and opposed to it. Now, after my self-immolation, I tell myself to be brave and open up what I feel and what I want to do. Hopefully they will listen.” (P.9)
Sub-theme 4.2: Seeking family support to start a new life
Participants were worried about their uncertain future after surviving the self-immolation. Fear of being alone, failing to continue their normal life and low self-esteem were the main reasons for seeking support. The participants reported that having family support can help them to return to a normal life. For the participants, family acceptance was very important for them after self-immolation as they have learned from their mistakes and understood why they did it.
“Now I did that [burn myself. I should never give up. My father accepted his mistakes and promised to help me get back on my own feet.” (P.7).
“After this mistake happened, I became more dependent to my family… I felt that they are the only ones that can help me… Now I feel they have forgiven me for my foolish deed.” (P.8).