The children who participated in this study were asked to choose from the Virtual Chest of Toys what they would like to play with their fathers, with either a boy or a girl, or with boys and girls. These activities elicited the children’s play preferences as well as their beliefs about what are appropriate toys for their gender – i.e., boys.
Choosing a Toy to Play with Father
The data collected from the boys’ responses to both the forced and free-choice toy preference tasks revealed their implicit knowledge of gender norms. The boys’ responses were categorized as follows based on the toys presented: stereotypically boy (SB), stereotypically girl (SG) and gender neutral (NT).
When the boys were asked to pick a toy to play with their fathers, 5 out of 6 chose the SB toys presented on screen, with choices ranging from the superhero costume, Legos, Nintendo Switch and the football. The reasoning offered for their choices ranged from familiarity with the toy, the functionality of the toy and enjoyment of the toy. Christopher, age 5, whose father did not have any direct involvement in his choice, spent a few seconds quietly thinking before choosing the football (SB) to play with his father. While he did not consider any other options, nor did he verbalize a direct reason for his choice, Christopher was certain in his choice as he did not hesitate when sharing his response. Although there was no clear reasoning offered for his choice, he did recall a memory of playing football with his father and brother in the summertime and added that his brother got upset when he tackled him. On the other hand, Marc, age 4, who chose the superhero costume (SB), immediately knew that was what he wanted to pick, shouting “That one!!!”. His choice was motivated by his perception of enjoyment of the toy (“because it’s soooooo cool”), and by his familiarity with the toy; he and his father told a story about how his dad had bought him and his sister matching Superman and Superwoman costumes. Brothers Jason and Brad, ages 7 and 5, respectively, both chose the Nintendo Switch (SB) to play with their dad. Initially, they did not spontaneously elaborate on their reasoning and explanations, but as their father started to talk about how the boys spend lots of time both at school and at home playing with their Nintendo Switch, they opened up to talk about their favourite game. While they were shy at first, their newfound enthusiasm appears to have been a result of watching their father share his explanation about why his sons’ might have chosen the Nintendo Switch. Familiarity with and enjoyment of the Nintendo Switch motivated their choices.
Luke, 4 years old, initially chose the NT Play-doh, but was promptly questioned by his father, “Play doh? […] You don’t want to play with the Legos?”. In response Luke changed his choice of toy from a NT one to a SB toy – the Legos. Here, it is worth noting Luke’s passive acceptance of his father’s suggestion; Luke did not argue, nor question his suggestion but instead he looked at his father and said: “Ohhh…what about that too!”.
Alex, 7 years old, also chose a NT toy – the Connect 4 board game – and when asked why, he explained his choice by describing the functionality of the game, “because it’s a strategy game, so like you have to, like you have to figure out what the opponent's next move is going to be […] and then you use your move”. It was particularly notable that Alex was the only boy who sought his father’s input about his choice of toy; a negotiation between them took place where they systematically chose their top three options and from there deduced which toy they wanted to play with the most. The interaction between Alex and his father was quite interesting as his father shared that when they usually play together, naturally Alex would dictate the terms of what toy or activity they would play with, however here he emphasized to his son that they would be picking together. Additionally, when considering their potential options, both Alex and his father were open to hearing one another’s thoughts and opinions and after eventually deciding on the Connect 4 boardgame, the pair shared in mutual agreement by nodding their heads while looking at each other.
Independent Choice. When the boys were asked to choose, without discussing with their fathers, a toy that they would like to play with their fathers, Christopher and the two brothers, Jason and Brad, continued to choose another SB toy (Nintendo Switch, football, respectively). Familiarity with the toy, again, played a role in their choices: Christopher shared that he has a Nintendo Switch at home and that he and his brother are currently trying to find a way to have multiple players so that they can play together with their dad. Jason and Brad’s father recalled a memory where him and his sons gathered a big pile of leaves in the fall, and he would throw his sons the football and they would end up diving into the pile of leaves as they ran to catch it. The boys and their fathers engaged in a moment of sincere laughter with smiles on their faces, as they reminisced on a fun moment that they had shared together.
The two youngest children, Marc and Luke, who had previously chosen SB toys when asked to pick with their fathers, shifted to a NT and SG toy, respectively, when they chose independently. Marc’s father accepted his new choice of a xylophone without any interference and in fact smiled when his son explained his reasoning for choosing the musical instrument: “Because they make beautiful music!”. However, when Luke chose the toy kitchen to play with his father, his choice was once again questioned by his father who laughingly asked “You want the kitchen?”. Luke was flummoxed and turned to his father when asked why he would like to play in the toy kitchen with his father. To reinforce his disapproval, his father chuckled and said, “Don’t look at me!” and proceeded to look away from his son (see Appendix E). Luke eventually explained his reasoning by describing the functionality of the toy kitchen, and the food that he and his dad could make while playing with it.
In comparison, Alex who had previously chosen a NT toy with his father, had now changed his choice to a SB toy – the football. When asked why he chose the football this time around, Alex appeared to have been influenced by his father: “because…my dad, before he said that he wanted to choose the football, so I’m choosing it now”. The response from Alex’s father was relatively neutral to his son’s choice; he did not convey any verbal or non-verbal signs of agreement.
Choosing a Toy to Play with Timmy and Rosie
When the boys were asked to choose a toy to play with two make-believe friends, Timmy and Rosie, in order to elicit their understanding of gender-stereotyped preferences, Jason and Alex, both age 7, chose SB toys to play with Timmy (Football, Nintendo Switch), but NT toys to play with Rosie (Play-doh and Slinky). When they were asked to explain their choices of toys with Timmy, they appeared to rely on intuitive understanding of boys’ preferences and they were rather vague in their rationale: “Because we're going to go on a computer and we can't really play with any of the outdoor toys… and we can only play with the indoor toys” (Alex). Jason was initially silent when asked why he chose the football; when he was further interjected and asked if football is a sport he enjoys playing, he then nodded his head in agreement. In contrast, they were more articulate about their choices for Rosie, and the reasoning offered were based on functionality and gender preferences:
Alex: “Because usually girls like to play with Play Doh a lot of times”
Jason: “Because you can mold it different stuff and make what you want with them”
The two youngest boys, Marc and Luke, did not appear to take into consideration gender-stereotyped preferences when they chose toys to play with Timmy or Rosie. Marc chose NT play-doh and slinky to play with Timmy and Rosie, while Luke chose the SG toy Dora the Explorer computer for Timmy and the NT toy microphone for Rosie. When providing reasoning for their choices, Luke focused on the enjoyment that both Timmy and Rosie would have playing with the toys, while Marc explained his choices in terms of the functionality of the toys:
Luke: “We could play with [play-doh] because there's soooo much we can build with it”
Marc: “Because [the slinky] walks down the stairs!”
While Christopher took into consideration gender-stereotyped preference when choosing the SG toy (Barbie doll) for Rosie, he chose the NT cuddly toy to play with Timmy. When asked by the researcher as to why he would think Timmy would enjoy playing with that toy with him, he referred to his own preference for playing with stuffed animals and added that he has a big stuffed dinosaur at home.
Brad who was 5 years of age, chose stereotypically BT for both Timmy and Rosie (Nintendo Switch and airplane), and for his two choices, he also provided reasoning that was based on the function and his own personal enjoyment of the toy. When explaining his choice of the Nintendo Switch for Timmy, he said: “Because it’s fun and you get to make your own buildings and you get your own houses and you can make axes…”, and for the airplane for Rosie: “Because I find it cool, and I find that its cool that they could fly through the air”.
Overall, the boys’ rationale for their choices in choosing a toy to play with their fathers, or with Timmy and Rosie were influenced by their perception of enjoyment and functionality of the toys. However, none of the boys offered explicit explanations based on their play experience involving other children.
Choosing Toys to Play with Boys vs. Girls
Consistency was observed across all the children when they were asked to choose three toys that they thought only girls would like to play with: they all chose SG toys for girls. When boys were asked to choose toys for girls, the exclusive focus on girls was highlighted in the phrasing of the question itself, whereas when they were asked to choose a toy to play with Rosie, they took into consideration what they would enjoy playing with. This was particularly evident in Brad’s choices. He recognized that girls would prefer the doll, tea set and Dora the Explorer computer as toys, because “….. usually I see girls like, sometimes I see girls like, get pots of….. and like pretend they have water in cups and they feed their dolls”. In contrast, when he chose a toy to play with Rosie, he chose the airplane that he liked.
Three other boys (Alex, Jason and Brad) also added that it was easier to choose toys for girls. Alex stated: “Because there is less options, and usually boys don’t really play with the girl toys as much”. Among the boys, only Christopher felt that it was harder to choose toys for girls because he was less familiar with “girl stuff”.
When the boys were asked to pick three toys that they thought only boys would like to play with, they also included at least one SB toy in their choices. Three boys (Marc, Christopher and Alex) chose exclusively SB toys (superhero costume, football, wrestler doll, and Spiderman action figure); in particular, Spiderman and wrestler doll were chosen by all three of them. Their rationale emphatically revealed strong gender stereotyped preferences. For example, Marc, 4 years old, said, “because they’re boys stuff”. Christopher and Alex, who are 6 and 7 years old respectively, indicated that “girls don’t like to play football”, and Christopher additionally asserted that the physical demand of the sport rendered it unpopular for girls “…..there’s like tackling, so [the girls] don’t want to play it”.
Among the three other boys who did not exclusively choose SB toys, they each included some SB toys in their choices. Jason and Brad each chose two SB toys; Jason included one NT toy (boardgame), while Brad included one SG toy (jewellery set).
Luke and Brad, the 4-year-olds, chose SB toys for boys, but they each included one SG toy as well. For Luke, who chose a SB toy (toolbox) and a NT toy (Puzzle), also included the cuddly toy (SG), which he perceived as a “boy toy” because of the potential enjoyment boys would have when playing with it. Brad, who chose two SB toys (Nintendo Switch and Spiderman action figure), included a jewelry set (SG) in his selection. There was a change in his typical tone of voice and usual eye contact were observed when he provided explanation for his choice of the jewelry set, as he began to lean further into his father’s chest and hide his face. The shyness exhibited by Brad, when explaining his choice of the SG jewelry set, suggested a sense of embarrassment for having chosen a SG toy. In this manner, he showed an implicit knowledge of what toys are considered “acceptable” and “not acceptable” for boys to play with. According to two of the boys, Marc and Alex, having a young sister as a playmate appeared to have informed their knowledge and rationale for gender-stereotyped toys for girls. Marc, who chose the tea set as one of the toys for girls, explained that he often played make-believe tea party with his younger sister. In parallel, Alex was also certain that girls would not enjoy SB toys:
Researcher: “And what about the Spiderman and the wrestler, girls don’t like to play with those either?”
Alex: “Noo…I don’t think I seen my sister play with a Spiderman toy or a wrestler”
He further ascertained that he had never seen girls at school play with Spiderman or wrestler figurines. However, he acquiesced that, if his younger sister were to ask him to play with the Spiderman toy, he would find it acceptable:
Researcher: “So let’s say [your sister] came up to you and said “Can I play with your Spiderman?” What would you say? Would it be okay if she played with it?”
Alex: “Yessss”
Choosing Toys to Play with Boys and Girls
For the last question, boys were asked was to choose three toys that they thought both boys and girls would like to play with. The responses provided for this question included the most variability, as was expected, given that they were asked to choose toys for both genders. In explaining his inclination to include NT toys for both boys and girls, Alex expressed a firm believe that it was unlikely that girls would enjoy playing with the SB toys he had chosen. Four other boys (Marc, Brad, Christopher and Jason) recognized the context of sharing and mutuality and included at least one NT toy in their choices (e.g., such as the puzzle, play-doh, slinky, Connect 4 boardgame, and storybook). Brad explained his choice of the NT slinky from what he had seen at a party: “I chose the slinky because once I was at a party and I saw boys and girls playing with it so…”.
However, there were also SB toys (Nintendo Switch, Legos and plane) and SG toys (Dora the Explorer computer, jewelry set, toy kitchen, doll, tea set, and microphone) included in the boys’ choices. The reasoning for these choices were related to their functionality, the enjoyment of the toys, as well as their familiarity and experience having played with the toys. Jason, age 7, focused on functionality when he said: “The necklaces and the beads, because….. ummm…..boys and girls could wear necklaces with beads on it. And boys and girls could…um…read books together”. Christopher, age 6, was adamant that toys are not only for one gender “because boys like kitchen stuff and they play, and girls like to play with blocks and boys too. And some girls like to play board games and some boys too” (see Appendix E).
In summary, the boys in the study were inclined to identify stereotypically boy toys when they were choosing with their fathers. When given the opportunity to choose, independently, a toy to play with their fathers, most of the boys did not expand their choices to include any stereotypically girl toys. The boys also expressed strong and consistent stereotyped belief that girls preferred to play with stereotypically girl toys. Similarly, when they had to choose a toy that they would like to play with another girl (i.e., Rosie), they clearly recognized that a stereotypically boy toy would not be appropriate. In contrast, the boys in this study showed more varied preferences when they had to choose toys for boys. While they all included at least one stereotypically boy toy when asked to imagine what toys boys usually liked to play with, two of the boys identified two stereotypically girl toy as their preference. The boys’ responses in each condition are summarized in Table 1.
Table 1 Boys’ Choices of Toys in Different Play Conditions
Boys
|
Toys to Play with Father
|
Toys to Play with Friends
|
Boy Toys and Girl Toys
|
Toys for
Boys AND Girls
|
|
Choosing
With Father
|
Choosing by himself
|
With
Timmy
|
With
Rosie
|
Only boys
like…
|
Girls like…
|
|
Alex
|
NT
|
SB
|
SB
|
NT
|
3 SB
|
3 SG
|
1 NT, 1 SG & 1 SB
|
Jason
|
SB
|
SB
|
SB
|
NT
|
2 SB & 1 NT
|
3 SG
|
2 SG & 1 NT
|
Brad
|
SB
|
SB
|
SB
|
SB
|
2 SB & 1 SG
|
3 SG
|
1 SB & 2 NT
|
Christopher
|
SB
|
SB
|
SG
|
SG
|
3 SB
|
3 SG
|
1 SG, 1 NT & 1 SB
|
Luke
|
NT to SB*
|
SG
|
SG
|
NT
|
1 SB, 1 NT & 1 SG
|
3 SG
|
1 SB & 2 SG
|
Mark
|
SB
|
NT
|
NT
|
NT
|
3 SB
|
3 SG
|
1 NT & 2 SG
|
SB = stereotypically boy toy(s)
SG = stereotypically girl toy(s)
NT = gender neutral toy(s)
*Luke initially chose a gender-neutral toy, but then changed to a stereotypically boy toy
Fathers’ Responses to the Child-Rearing Sex-Role Attitude Scale
Fathers who participated in the study responded to twelve statements that reflected their attitudes and beliefs about gender-appropriate behavior and expectations. These statements were adapted from the Child-Rearing Sex-Role Attitude Scale [33]. Their responses to the statements are summarized in Table 2. Three out of the 12 statements where consensus was shared amongst all fathers. Firstly, when considering the two statements about gender equality among boys and girls, all fathers agreed that both boys and girls need to develop social skills, and to acquire math and science competencies. Secondly, with regards to the statement assessing response to gender typed activities, all fathers shared in disagreement that only boys should be permitted to play competitive sports. Most remaining statements garnered approximate consensus among fathers (i.e., having of the five fathers sharing similar opinion), with the exception of the two following statements: “I would buy my son a doll”, and “I would not hire a male babysitter”. Luke’s and Alex’s fathers, Rodney and Frank, respectively, were certain that they would not buy their sons a doll (Statement 8), and that they would not hire a male babysitter (Statement 9). When considering Rodney’s response to Statement 8, which assessed fathers’ attitudes towards cross-gender play, a maintenance of beliefs was held and reflected during the interview when he seemingly disapproved of Luke’s choice of a cross-gender toy (e.g., choosing the toy kitchen to play with his dad). Additionally, when Luke chose the doll as one the toys that he thought both girls and boys would enjoy playing with, Rodney repeatedly questioned him, “Where did you play with a doll?” and “Where did you play with a doll?”. When Luke hesitated and did not answer his father, his father made a point to clarify to the researcher that his son has never played with a doll before: “I don’t think you ever played with a doll…”, while chuckling under his breath.
Table 2 Fathers’ responses to Child-Rearing Sex-Role Attitude Scale (Adapted)
Alex’s father, Frank, expressed the strongest gender-stereotyped attitudes among the fathers. His responses to the statements showed: (a) that he would not buy his son a doll (Statement 8), that boys who exhibit “sissy” behaviors will never be well adjusted (Statement 5), (c) that he feels upset when he sees boys put on a dress when they play dress-up (Statement 7), (d) that he would not hire a male babysitter (Statement 9), and (e) that boys, more than girls, need competitive sports (Statement 10). In other instances, Frank’s differential responses to the statements appeared to be prompted by the subtleties in the wording. For example, he disagreed with the statement that “Only boys should be permitted to play competitive sports”, but he agreed with the statement that “Boys, more than girls, need competitive sports”; these responses revealed that while he believed that boys, more than girls, need competitive sports, he did not believe that girls should be barred from competitive sports. Similar beliefs were echoed by Alex when he shared that it would be unlikely for girls to enjoy playing with stereotypically boy toys, however he would be accepting if his sister were to want to play with one of his SB toys.
Contrary to his gender-stereotyped responses on the questionnaire, Frank was most likely to engage his son in reflecting on his choices. He often questioned Alex’s gender-stereotyped choices and seemingly tried to prompt Alex to accept cross-gender toys:
Frank: “But now I have a question for you…would you play with Wonder Woman?”
Alex: “No!!” *smiling*
Frank: “No? Why wouldn’t you play with Wonderwoman?”
Alex: “Umm… I don’t want to”
Frank: “What about Batwoman?”
Alex: “No”
Frank: “Supergirl?”
Alex: “No”
Frank: “So because they’re girls, you wouldn’t play with them?”
Alex: “Mhmmm…” (nods head yes)
Frank: “Okay. There’s no right or wrong answer, that’s your answer”
Contradictions between attitude and behaviours were expressed differently by Christopher’s father, Matthew. On one hand, he agreed that boys could have the balance of competitiveness and vulnerability (Statement 10 and Statement 3), he was “undecided” about his son choosing a female-stereotyped profession of nursing (Statement 4). Throughout the interview, Matthew was mostly quiet and uninvolved when Christopher’s choices reflected gender-stereotyping, but he intervened and questioned Christopher when he made gender non-conforming choices. For example, when choosing a toy to play with Timmy, Christopher at first jokingly chose the SG toy (stroller), to which his dad immediately laughed and said, “Don’t be silly!”. When Christopher persisted to choose another SG toy (the cuddly toy), Matthew turned to his son and rhetorically asked, “The cuddly toy? You think that [Timmy]’s gonna want to play with the cuddly toy with you?”. Later, Matthew again tried to assert his influence on his son’s response when Christopher’s chose the SG toy kitchen as one of the toys that boys would like to play with:
Matthew: “Would a boy want to play with the kitchen though?”
Christopher: “Noooooo” he laughingly responds.
When Christopher mistakenly dragged the kitchen into the toy-chest, Matthew proceeded to take the mouse from his son’s hand and removed the kitchen for him. The fact that Matthew was quick in his reaction and did not wait for his son to remove the kitchen himself, inferred a strong message that cross-gender play was unacceptable and that he would not be disregarded and ignored a second time.
Among the fathers who responded to the statements, two of the fathers, Joey (Jason & Brad) and Jesse (Marc), expressed openness to gender non-conforming attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors. In comparison to the some of the more stereotypical views conveyed by the other fathers, both Joey and Jesse’s responses to the statements showed: (a) that they do not feel upset when they see boys put on a dress when they play dress-up (Statement 7), (b) that boys do not need competitive sports more than girls (Statement 10), (c) that they strongly disagree that boys who exhibit “sissy” behaviors will never be well adjusted (Statement 5), and (d) that it is not healthy for boys to cry only when they have been hurt (Statement 3). For Jesse, the acceptance he shared in his responses on the scale were also conveyed in his interaction with his son; after having completed the independent choice task where Marc chose the NT xylophone to play with dad, he proceeded to drag the jewellery set into the virtual toy chest. In comparison to the reactions other boys received when choosing a SG toy, Marc received a more accepting from his father:
Jesse: “What was that buddy? You added something else in Marc...do you know what that is?”.
Marc: “Ummm I don’t know…”
Jesse: “That’s for making jewellery, like beads and necklaces and stuff. If that’s what you want, you can choose that!”
During that moment, Jesse made it known to his son that if he were to choose the jewellery set instead of the xylophone that would be completely acceptable, and it also suggests that the beliefs Jesse holds about cross-gender play are consistent with his behaviours during the interview with his son.
Similarly, Joey was also observed demonstrating openness and acceptance towards his son’s (Brad) choice of SG toys, when he was asked to choose toys that he thought only girls would like. When Brad picked the doll and referred to her by the name “Rapunzel”, his older brother Jason immediately turned to him and began laughing: “Rapunzel?!”. The response he received for calling the doll by her name, elicited a strong emotional reaction in Brad where he proceeded to become silent and slowly slipped off his seat, and hid off camera as he laid on the ground. It is worth noting, that while the interview focused on the father’s role, Brad’s mother intervened to address the situation as her son appeared to be distraught by what had happened. Together with Brad’s mother, the pair reassured their son that he was not being laughed at and that they had not expected him to know the doll’s name. After picking Brad up off the floor, and placing him on his lap, Joey looked at his son and whispered: “Go ahead Brad, continue what you we’re saying. We want to hear what you have to say”. The way in which Joey helped bring his son back to the interview after he experienced a moment of embarrassment for expressing knowledge of SG toys, further demonstrates the acceptance he conveyed towards gender-nonconformity in his responses to the Sex-Role Attitude Scale. In the same way that Joey agreed that he would buy his son a doll, when faced with a real-life situation where his son was “interacting” with a doll, Joey did not show any reluctance nor did he disapprove his son for knowing the doll’s name.