Air-spring-dampers offer a novel alternative to traditional hydraulic damping within suspension systems. However, due to the intricate damping behavior and a multitude of configuration possibilities, the design process of air-spring-dampers proves to be challenging. This paper proposes a solution to address these challenges by introducing a simulation framework integrated with parameter optimization, enabling the simulation and design of any air-spring-damper. The simulation framework incorporates three fundamental modules: volume, mass exchange, and heat exchange. By abstracting the air-spring-damper as a graph and representing it via adjacency matrices, these modules will automatically be connected to construct a simulation model for any air-spring-damper configuration. Furthermore, leveraging the framework simplifies the design process through a parameter optimization. This method allows for a target damping curve to be set. The optimization algorithm then adjusts the air-spring-damper's design parameters until the target curve is achieved. A comparison of algorithms is conducted to determine the most suitable for this optimization problem. The pattern search and surrogate algorithms emerge as strong performers, effectively producing the target damping curve. To simplify the design process further, the common objective of enhancing driving safety and comfort is transformed into an optimization problem within the framework. This leads to the generation of a pareto front, which presents design recommendations that balance safety and comfort optimally.