To better understand how conflict, displacement, and living within a camp context has affected family formation among the FDMN community, participants were first asked about their perception of current norms and drivers of child marriage and early childbearing. The participant’s description then served as a frame of reference to discuss how they felt these current norms and drivers compared to the norms and drivers that they experienced and/or witnessed regarding child marriage and early childbearing prior to displacement.
Current Norms Around Age at First Marriage
There was near consensus that marriage should occur at or after 18 years of age. However, there was also clear differentiation as to the exact age range beyond 18 for females and males. Participants more often noted that, for girls, the “ideal” age of marriage was 18 exactly, whereas for boys the stated “ideal” age of marriage generally ranged from 18-22. A few participants mentioned community stigma around being an ‘older’ bride, though this stigma did not seem to apply to ‘older’ grooms:
“People say bad things when [people] get married at an older age. If girls get married at an older age, people say they are older, but if the boys get married at an older age, they do not say anything.” -IDI23, female, unmarried, age 21
No participants said that marriage before age 18 was ideal, though a few did discuss reasons why they were personally married before that age. These participants most often cited financial insecurity, familial instability, or need for social or physical protection – themes which are further detailed below.
Some participants went on to explain why they and/or the community thought 18+ was an ideal age for marriage. Most often, they attributed this preference to protecting the physical health of women (i.e. to prevent childbearing prior to age 18) and/or to ensuring that adolescents were old enough to be “ready” for the financial (in the case of males), emotional, and social responsibilities associated with married life.
“If a couple gets married at that age [at age 18 or later], they will face no difficulties while having children; they will have proper peace in the house and will be able to handle everything. If a girl is married off before the age of 18, she will not have enough maturity about handling her emotions and treating the husband and in-laws the right way. When they turn 18, they grow this level of maturity to respect in-laws. That's why it is good to marry off the girls after turning 18.” -FGD15, unmarried male age 15-24
However, the discussion around “ideal” age at first marriage was not entirely consistent with the reported typical age at first marriage within the community; many participants shared that marriage before age 18 is not uncommon. Some participants also noted that not all community members view the consequences of child marriage as negative, nor wait until adolescents have turned 18 to encourage them to marry.
“Some people say the girl would be too young to understand how marriage works [before age 18]. She won’t be able to do household chores properly and can’t solve problems. On the contrary, some don’t see early marriage as a problem. They believe a girl can learn how to maintain a family after marriage.”
-IDI33, female, married at 17, age 18
Impact of Conflict & Displacement on Marriage Norms
There was notable heterogeneity in views around the impact of displacement on community norms around child marriage. Some participants felt the average age of marriage had decreased after displacement, and that child marriages were more common now, despite camp authorities (known as the “Camp-In-Charge”, or CIC) enforcing laws preventing underage marriage. These participants most often explained this increase by communicating that there was a relative disregard for the laws restricting child marriage in Bangladesh, whereas they felt the laws which had regulated child marriage in Myanmar were more closely followed at that time. Other participants, though fewer, felt that restrictions on child marriage had instead gotten tighter since being displaced to Bangladesh, and that rates were dropping as a result.
Many more participants discussed the impact that conflict and displacement had had on their own marriage. When married participants were asked if and how the conflict and their displacement affected the age at which they were personally married, the majority felt that they would have been married later had they remained in Myanmar. The reasons given were the relative permissiveness of child marriage in Bangladesh as compared to the restrictions in Myanmar, conflict-related security issues, lack of educational and employment opportunities within camp, and pressure from family members to marry – themes which will be discussed in greater detail, below. Most of these respondents were themselves married prior to age 18. This finding was consistent across genders.
“If I were in Burmaii I wouldn't have gotten married early. We wouldn't have to leave Burma. In Burma, no one can marry before coming of age. But here we can do that with false documents. There are also security issues. No one knows what is going to happen tomorrow. This makes the parents very conscious and that’s why everyone is getting married earlier than they would have in Burma.” -IDI39, female, married at 17, age 18
Fewer participants said that they would’ve gotten married at the same or earlier if they had stayed in Myanmar, or that they didn’t know. Of the latter group, most felt that their marriage timing was “Allah’s wish”, implying they either didn’t have much personal control in the decision-making around marriage and/or it is not worthwhile to speculate because their life had, by-design, already gone according to “God’s plan”.
“Interviewer: Would you have married in Burma at the same age you married in Bangladesh?
Participant: Sister, it’s all about the Almighty's order. If he wanted, then it would've happened. Here Almighty's order came and then happened.
Interviewer: You think you would get married there at that age whether you came to Bangladesh or not?
Participant: I don't think about that. It's all Almighty's wish. If I had not come that year to Bangladesh, I might have gotten married in Burma.” -IDI30, female, married at 16, age 20
Current Child Marriage Drivers
The most common current marriage drivers that participants discussed were protection from sexual, physical, and/or social harm, socioeconomic need, lack of educational and/or livelihood opportunities, and a perceived lessening of enforcements around minimum age requirements for marriage in Bangladesh as compared to Myanmar. While these themes were discussed by both male and female participants, the way that they were experienced by and applied to male and female adolescents were different, and gendered.
Protection from Harassment, Assault, and Dishonor. Many participants found living conditions to be both unsafe and unreliable, both within the camp and prior to being displaced in Myanmar. This was felt to be particularly salient for single girls.
“There is no safety for girls [in the camp]. Lots of gang people are there. We are afraid of them harassing young girls.” -IDI29, female, unmarried, age 21
In the case of protection from sexual harassment, getting married was seen as an answer to safety concerns associated with falling victim to eve-teasingiii and other forms of sexual harassment commonly faced by young women in camp settings. Married girls were, or were at least perceived as being, more protected from such types of harassment as compared to unmarried girls. Moreover, there were fears that verbal harassment could escalate to physical sexual assault, further exacerbating the need to use marriage as a protective strategy. Notably, all transcripts which referenced safety were from female participants who were either married before the age of 18 or were unmarried themselves.
“My parents were concerned about my security as I was young and pretty. They feared something might happen to me. Getting me married was a way to ensure my safety. But I don’t know how. Anything bad could have happened even if I was with my husband. But that gave them peace, so I have no comments on that.” -IDI10, female, married at 16, age 22
The threat of sexual harassment and assault was seen as one of, if not the greatest, threat to females’ safety in the camp amongst community members, eclipsing other related concerns such as maternal mortality or morbidity.
“Interviewer: Why did you marry her [your sister] off so early?
Participant: We lived in a small place with men all around us. So, there was a security problem. Thus, we decided to marry her off because we were scared for her safety and security… We didn’t think about death at childbirth because it was a matter [for a] later time, while the fear of safety and security was present. So, we married her off.” -IDI44, male, married at 18, age 24
Some protection concerns extended to boys as well. However, these concerns more often had to do with protecting boys from the temptation to engage in activities – such as harassing women or engaging in premarital sexual relationships – that would bring dishonor and stigma to boys and their families, rather than protection from physical or sexual harm directed at them.
“Boys can be free from doing sins if they marry earlier. They wouldn’t be involved in any love relationship or get physical with any girl if they are married off at an early age. That’s the practice here.” -IDI35, male, married at age 14, age 20
“At least by getting married, they [boys] have some responsibilities of their own and to stick to their family members and their wives. This is just a way to… you know, keep the men attached to the family.” -IDI14, male, married at age 22, age 23
In some cases, fear of single boys being more likely to engage in gang activity and/or in drug use within camp was also mentioned as an impetus for child marriage.
“My parents thought that since all my elder sisters had died, they were afraid about me. They thought, what would they do if something bad happened to me or if I became friends with the bad guys and started taking drugs or do evil things? So, they wanted me to get married and be family oriented. That's why I got married.” – IDI15, male, married at 17, age 19
In FDMN communities, pre-marital relationships are often considered immoral, sinful, and dishonorable and can carry heavy social stigma, for both the female or male teens engaging in them and their families. Participants frequently described how the close-quarters conditions of the camps put an increasing number of adolescents in close proximity with each other. This was believed to increase the likelihood that unmarried adolescents would start “illicit” romances or affairs with each other. These “affairs” were often described as a driver of child marriage, as parents chose to marry their adolescent early to prevent adolescents from continuing to engage in pre-marital relationships that could bring shame onto themselves and their families.
“If marriages are arranged by parents, they choose girls who are [age] 18 for their sons. When marriages take place out of love and without interference from parents, girls get married between 10-15… a man is usually 21 years old when the parents arrange marriage. In the case of marrying out of love, boys are between 15-18 years old when they get married." -FGD9, married female age 15-24
Socioeconomic Protection. Marriage of girls specifically was also seen as an answer to socioeconomic instability within the household, both on the part of the girl’s household of origin and for the new husband’s household.
Female participants occasionally described their parents deciding to “marry them off” to relieve the family of either the physical constrains of her family’s tight living quarters and/or to ensure her financial future. This included security in the case of her parents’ death, which would otherwise strip her of continued financial support from them.
“Many people marry girls off, thinking about who will take care of the girl when the parents are old or die. Many people marry girls off after they are of the right age. Some are poor; others are married early because they do not have a father or a mother.” -IDI32, female, married at age 18, age 20
“We were living in a small house which could be a reason. We had difficulties living in such a small place…
Interviewer: After your brother’s marriage, the house became more congested?
Participant: Yes. Due to this reason, my parents decided to marry me off.” -IDI33, female, married at 17, age 18
Male participants often explained that they or their parents sought out a wife because their household needed someone to do the type of domestic labor traditionally ascribed to women. This was typically due to recent changes in the male’s household composition (e.g. the male’s sisters were recently “married off” and were no longer able to do these household chores and/or there was an absence of another elder female family member – most often the mother – who would otherwise have been able to fulfill this role, either due to illness or death).
“Our house had no heart because my sisters got married, and no one could see our sick mother. Because of that, my brother got married…he was married early so his wife could take care of our mother and do the work that our mother could not do.”-IDI26, unmarried, age 22
“Yes, [I got married] because my mother died. I have two younger siblings. So, my father said that they will become helpless.” -IDI4, male, married at age 16, age 21
“There is no one else in my family except me. I have to serve my parents. I have to work. I must serve them and earn money. I got married so that I would have someone at home to look after my parents when I’m out working” -IDI20, male, married at age 18, age 18, no children
Dowries (and the inability to afford them) also came up in a highly gendered way, with the majority of transcripts mentioning dowries being from unmarried female participants. Of the participants who discussed dowries, around three-fourths reported there was a dowry exchange for their female family members, whereas around one-fourth reported no dowry exchange. Dowry was frequently mentioned as a barrier to marriage for girls (i.e. the bride’s family being unable to provide a dowry, despite their desire for their daughter to marry). Participants occasionally mentioned families resorting to loans to pay their daughter’s dowry, or sending their daughters to Malaysia so that they could get married without having to pay dowry.
“There are lots of girls who belong to poor families that can't get married [due to the dowry system]. They marry their girls off when they save some money. If they can't do that, they marry them off by taking loans…if they can't get them married here [in Bangladesh], they send them off to foreign countries by marrying them off with men who are much older than them…her parents forcibly marry her off even if she's not agreed.” -IDI29, female, unmarried, age 21
A few participants mentioned that dowry isn’t always expected because families commonly deal with financial hardship within camp, but this seemed to be more an exception rather than a rule.
“Those who have jobs get proper salary every month they give more dowry than others. They give mobile phones and money. Those who are poor don't have money to give dowry. Also, there are some people who understand [so] they don't demand dowry.” -IDI28, female, married at age 16, age 19
Only two participants explicitly mentioned dowry as a clear motivator in their decision to get married – one a married male whose family needed additional finances, and one an unmarried girl who was accusing boys’ families of being greedier about dowries than they were in Myanmar due to their own scarce resources in camp.
“[My bride] was only 13 years old. But I had nothing else that I could do [to support my family’s financial needs]. I had to marry for the sake of my family members.” -IDI35, male, married at age 14, age 20
Lack of Education and Livelihood Opportunities.
Many male participants expressed great frustration at the lack of educational and career opportunities in camp, citing rules which prevent FDMNs from engaging in formal employment opportunities and a lack of formal schooling options within camp. This was often described as a reason parents encouraged their adolescent children to get married, as adolescents had few other options for occupying their time and contributing to the community.
“My family wanted [my brother to marry]. His study has also stopped and there's not much to do here. So, my parents thought it would be better if he got married and started his own family.” – IDI1, Male, unmarried, age 20
This lack of education and livelihood opportunities also occasionally tied into the aforementioned protection issues for boys specifically, as “having nothing to do” was seen as a risk factor for engaging in sexual harassment or gang activity.
“There is no activity here in the camp. So, boys get married at the age of 17/18. The reason for doing this is that they cannot study much here. Cannot go to college after class 10 due to rules and a lack of opportunities. So, they do not study or do business or work. Then, while not doing anything like that, they get involved in bad deeds. That is why they get married.” -IDI14, male, married at age 22, age 23
Yet even the few male participants that described being able to find income-generating opportunities despite the restrictions and access issues were often not able to overcome other drivers for child marriage. For example, their having work left a gap in caretaking and household responsibilities, thus tying back into seeking a wife to fulfill those roles in their absence.
“In 2017, we came to Bangladesh from Myanmar. We [young boys] had nothing to do [upon arriving]… I wanted to study, but I couldn’t. My father told me to work in his shop… [but] someone had to take care of the household chores, take care of my parents, maintain the house, and do everything. My parents cannot do that anymore. I am in the shop the whole day. What other option did I have [but to find a wife]?” -IDI3, male, married at 18, age 19
Very few female participants expressed a similar frustration with the lack of educational and livelihood opportunities. However, participants occasionally mentioned that, because girls are culturally expected to stop going to school once they reach menarche, they are then forced to stay within the house for the majority of their adolescents, which can be ‘concerning’ for their families.
“There is another reason for marrying off girls before 18. A girl becomes a maiden [reaches menarche] by the age of 15. So, from 12 to 15 years old, we [would already] have to keep her at home for 3 years after becoming a maiden, let alone [until] 18 years old. They stay at home for 3 years [minimum]. Within this time, if she doesn't get a chance to have an education, if she doesn't have any other work, she sits idly at home. A maiden girl sitting at home is a matter of concern for parents… [Girls often] have to stay [within the home for] 6 years, which is very long… That is why we marry off our daughters early.” -FGD14, married male age 15-24
Limited Enforcement of Minimum Age Requirement for Marriage.
Many participants felt that age requirements for marriage were easy to circumvent in the camp setting. For example, several female participants who were married prior to age 18 admitted that they (and/or their family) purposefully lied about their age, forged documents, and/or did not notify the CIC of their marriage, to avoid penalization or repercussions.
“I was 13 when I got married… [my mother and in-laws] arranged a fake birth certificate for my marriage and according to this certificate, I am 19.” -IDI47, female, married at 13, age 15
“Some people are still getting married at a young age by showing false documents. They [also] often get married, but don't register it to CIC until they are of age.” -IDI48, female, married at 17, age 18
However, other participants felt that the CIC was able to adequately restrict child marriage within camp. Most often these were male participants.
“No, people can't get married whenever they want to, as CIC made restrictions on early marriage. They forbid those girls who are below 18 and the boys who are below 21 to get married. And we need their permission to get married.” – IDI1, male, unmarried, age 20
Impact of Conflict & Displacement on Marriage Drivers
“Eloping out of love is one reason for [child] marriage. Some parents can’t afford the expenses of their daughters and decide to marry them off [early to relieve their financial condition]. The death of the parents is another reason for early marriage… [but] if [the girl’s] parents can’t afford a dowry, they can’t marry their daughters off.” -FGD9, married female age 15-24
On Protection-Related Drivers. Many participants felt that, while some protection-related issues were present prior to displacement, protection concerns have significantly increased within the community due to the camp setting post-displacement.
For girls, the use of marriage as a form of protection in the face of uncertain and unsafe conditions seemed to have also been present in the FDMN community prior to their displacement to Bangladesh; some participants described that a lack of safety in their home villages similarly drove decision-making around child marriage. However, in this context, the threat of sexual violence was described to be less-so from other community members, and more a threat from those who were assaulting their villages.
“When they burnt our villages and godowns and everything. Amidst the massacre, I was married off. The people got scared. They were killing everyone. Young girls were getting tortured. My parents also got scared about our security. I was young and beautiful, you know? There was more risk of being tortured.” -IDI9, female, married at 12, age 18
“Interviewer: So, after the violence in your village, your parents decided to get you married?
Participant: Yes, that’s why they got me married. It was not very secured to have an unmarried girl at home in that tense situation. Everyone was doing the same.” -IDI9, female, married at 12, age 18
By contrast, participants frequently described how the camp setting put adolescents in closer-proximity with each other more often than they ever experienced previously in Myanmar, increasing the threat of protection-related concerns from within their own community. Participants often explicitly tied the close-quarters nature of the camp setting to increased levels of eve-teasing and sexual harassment on the part of boys, increased safety concerns for girls when spending time outside of their home, and a notable increase in the likelihood that adolescents entered into the types of pre-marital relationships that drove their parents to want to marry them as quickly as possible to each other, regardless of their age, for fear that their relationship would bring shame unto their families via inappropriate social contact, pre-marital sex, or an unintended pregnancy.
On Socioeconomic Drivers. Many participants also described the effect that conflict and displacement had on socioeconomic drivers, and the results were also highly gendered. For girls, participants most often described that being displaced had increasingly strained their family’s financial and living situations, effectively pushing unmarried adolescent girls out of their household of origin to alleviate those strains.
Amongst both genders, participants often implied that the conflict and displacement had put their family members at increased risk of becoming sick or passing away due to poor migratory conditions and living conditions within camp. For boys, this translated to an increased likelihood that they would need to find a wife to “replace” female family member who were no longer able to take care of other ill family members and/or perform regular household chores. For girls, this translated to increased fear that the household of origin would not be able to financially provide for them, further increasing the likelihood that her family would be incentivized marry her off.
“When I was in Burma, my parents didn't have to be taken care of, I didn't have to support my parents because we had more relatives and more property… I would not have to support my family [in Myanmar], I could have stayed with my studies. I could have reached my goal. After coming here, my parents became ill, I was forced to get married to help my parents… I have to feed them with my income. If I take care of my parents, we don't have food to eat. That's why I had to get married. My wife takes care of my parents, and I work and earn a living.” -IDI20, male, married at 18, age 18
“Interviewer: If you were in Myanmar, you [said you] wouldn’t have gotten married, but in Bangladesh you did. Why wouldn’t you have gotten married there?
Respondent: Here, I can’t go anywhere. We earned money there, but here we can’t earn enough money. We had so many jobs available in Myanmar, but we don’t have such options in Bangladesh... Also, my parents became sick after coming here. I think the whole process of leaving our village was a lot to take for both of them. They have never been the same after that. I would have never married at this age if it hadn't been for them. I could have enjoyed my life the way I wanted to in Myanmar. -IDI3, male, married at 18, age 19
“Here [in Bangladesh] we don’t have money. We are living by managing to take money or food from here and there. Yes, people marry off their daughters [at early ages] due to a shortage of money.” -FGD4, unmarried female age 15-24
Participants generally agreed that expectations around dowry had increased in Bangladesh as compared to Myanmar, despite more families having comparatively less capital in the camps. However, there was disagreement regarding whether this was universally true or enforced, and the affect (if any) on rates of child marriage. In fact, there was some evidence that the increased dowry price may have prevented child marriage for girls who would’ve otherwise been married had their families been able to provide a sufficient dowry.
“Interviewer: Was dowry common in Burma?
Participant: Yes. But after coming here it has been increased. Like, in 2017/2018 it was not that high. Gradually the amount of dowry increases. It is a huge burden for us. Especially for the people who do not have a proper earning source.
Interviewer: What is the reason for it?
Participant: Some people do illegal jobs here. They can earn more. So they give a huge amount of dowry for their daughter’s or sister’s marriage. So people became greedy now. They want more and more. Not only money but also gold, phone, and furniture. For example, now people know that they can get many things from a dowry easily. So, it became a trend here. The more you can give the more your demand is for marriage. My father has died and my brother is married. We don’t have that much money to give and arrange all these things. This is the reason why my marriage could not take place.” -IDI19, female, unmarried, age 19
On Education and/or Livelihood Opportunities. Male participants drew clear distinctions between the availability of livelihood opportunities pre- vs. post-displacement, saying that the stark lack of livelihood opportunities has only been present since moving to Bangladesh. Participants also tied this back to boys being more at-risk for engaging in eve-teasing and other inappropriate behavior because they were not otherwise busy with school and/or work.
“Participant: It would be good if there is a factory as there are so many jobless young boys. They tease the girls and sit idly here and there. It would be stopped if many of them could get to work…
Interviewer: Was it like this also in Burma?
Participant: there, they didn't get the chance to do these things as they were busy with their business and others. Here they are jobless, so they do all the wrongdoings.” – IDI1, male, unmarried, age 20
Many male participants described their educational and professional dreams prior to the conflict and displacement, and how they were forced to give up those dreams because of lack of access to education and restrictions on working as a refugee within camp.
“I was very sad [to leave Myanmar]. I had to leave my own home, land, and life. I had to stop studying…[In Myanmar I would have studied] to the highest level I could. I wanted to be a doctor, but I had to let go of my dream after coming here.” – IDI1, male, unmarried, age 20
Participants who seemed most discontented by the lack of educational opportunities were those who had made progress in achieving their educational and professional goals in Myanmar. More often, these were relatively older participants who had migrated at a point where they were close to finishing their studies and were forced to stop before completion. These participants sometimes expressed that, because they were unable to finish their studies and were comparatively closer to a marriageable age than their younger peers, they “had to” get married earlier in Bangladesh than they would have in Myanmar.
“If all goes well, a boy passed matriculation at the age of 16 in Burma. As I passed matriculation in 2016, I would have been able to study for another four to five years. I could study at university. I got admission at the university… If I had been in Burma, I would have continued my studies. That's why there's been a lot of difference. Not being able to read has caused a lot of damage to my community, to myself, and to my family. I can't support my family as much as I was supposed to. My mentality did not improve as I could not study… If I were in Burma, I would have studied…but after coming to Bangladesh in 2022, due to the society, due to the situation, I had to get married. It's been a big difference to me.” -IDI21, male, married at 23, age 24
“I wanted to study up to class 10 in Burma and get admitted to college. After getting higher education, it was my desire to open a big school and [then] run the family. I have been forced to come here, and I have to work, so there is no time to go to college here, no school, I have studied up to class 10 here. I couldn't reach my goal. I had to get married to serve my parents. I couldn't meet my goal because of all this.” -IDI20, male, married at 18, age 18
By contrast, girls were restricted from education during much of their adolescent years even in Myanmar prior to the conflict or displacement, due to cultural norms around girls exiting school once reaching menarche.
“There was a custom in Myanmar among our people when we lived there. Girls weren’t allowed to attend school once they turned 12 or 13. These girls were thought to be too old to continue studying. I had to quit for the same reason…When girls go through puberty, it indicates the time to stop studying. The family members do not allow the girl to go to school. We can’t go against them… My parents forbid me to continue studying, and I felt I shouldn’t study anymore.” -IDI33, female, married at 17, age 18
On Enforcement of Minimum Age Requirements for Marriage. Participants often directly compared the restrictions around marriage prior to age 18 in Myanmar to those in Bangladesh, and described similarly variable levels of compliance. However, there was not clear consensus regarding whether participants perceived restrictions as being more, less, or similarly strict to those in Bangladesh. More participants felt that marriage restrictions in Bangladesh were looser or relatively nonexistent as compared to those in Myanmar, and subsequently felt this was increasing child marriage rates. Yet, others described a perceived tightening of marriageable age restrictions and their enforcement in camp due to stricter monitoring by the CIC. Participants from Camp 1W and Camp 4 more often described the CIC as being strict in this way.
“In Burma, [girls] could not marry before the appropriate age… [or else she] would be jailed. I think some girls are married off at an earlier age [in Bangladesh] because there are no laws about it. No restrictions on it.” -IDI32, female, married at age 18, age 20
Current Childbearing Norms
“Most [girls] have a baby quickly [after marriage, regardless of their age at marriage]… In this way, it is better to have a second child five years after having the first child… to keep the [mother’s] body healthy. [But soon] after getting married, the first baby has to come into the stomach… [because] if you have a child, affection is born in the mind of the husband… and he will no longer marry anyone outside [of the original marriage].”-FGD5 participant, married female age 15-24
Time to First Birth. Participants universally described the societal expectation of initiating childbearing shortly after marriage, and typically within the first year of marriage. The pursuit of having children within the first year of marriage was shared by both married women and men, further illustrating the strength of the norm around demonstrating fecundity immediately after marriage and thus the resistance to delaying first birth across both genders.
“The year you get married, you have children. If you marry at the age of 18, you have a child at the age of 18, and if you marry at the age of 20, you have a child at the age of 20… you [always] have a child in the first year of marriage. This is the culture of our Rohingyas. [This is because] parents think that when [their married children] are older, they will not be able to raise their [own] children well. Grandparents want to see their grandchildren's faces." -FGD2, married male age 15-24
“My husband, in-laws, parents, and neighbors give me suggestions for conceiving. They say one should have a child as soon as possible after marriage. It's good for the couple to have a stronger bond.” -IDI48, female, married at 17, age 18, no children
The only accepted exception to this norm was in certain cases where girls were married very young. However, child marriage did not universally exempt younger brides from fulfilling what was considered their wifely obligation/duty.
“People who are [married] young should take birth control pills because at that age our body is not healthy enough to have a child. People call it a sin. But it's not the case. But people who want to do it do it anyway… I think [taking birth control] should be done because of concern for a mother's health and well-being.” -IDI43, female, married at 17, age 21, 1 child
Fears of the consequences of delaying first birth included social stigma (ie. other community members judging and gossiping about couples for not having children earlier), not solidifying the bond between husband and wife, marital arguments, and girls specifically being accused of being infertile or “barren”.
“There were neighboring women near the house, and they advised my wife to have a child as soon as possible. All of them said it’s best to have a child immediately after getting married. If we delay the process, there is a chance that we will never have a baby. You can say this is the culture here or the practice… So, I had to follow that too.” -IDI24, male, married at age 17, age 19, 1 child
“When I wasn’t pregnant 1-2 years after the marriage, everyone started to talk bad things about me. That I cannot have a child, I am a “Baja” (infertile) woman and my husband should be remarried. My neighbors, relatives…everyone was bad mouthing me.” -IDI9, female, married at 12, age 18, 1 child
“If we don't have children after we get married, we will then spend a long time taking birth control pills. That is seen negatively in our community and people pass many kinds of comments. Another thing is, if we don't have children after marriage, there arises any kind of conflict between husband and wife. So if we have a child, I will feel more affection towards my wife and I will be more responsible for my family. If, after we try to have a child, we can't get pregnant, then we will fight a lot. As [another participant] said earlier, we should have a child as soon as possible [after marriage]. There is no gain in being embarrassed. Husband and wife desire to have a child right?” -FGD1, married male age 15-24
Another perceived consequence of not having a child soon after marriage was the threat of a husband seeking a second wife (ie. choosing to enter into a polygamous marriage) with the rationale being that a second wife might be able to provide him with a child as an alternative. Female participants often described choosing to have a first child quickly after marriage as a tool to keep her husband invested in their relationship.
“Some men actually marry again [seek another wife] if their [first] wives can’t conceive a child. It is common in this society.” -IDI33, female, married at 17, age 18, no children
Despite this strong societal expectation to demonstrate fecundity immediately after marriage, several IDI participants did specifically mention wanting to (or wishing that they could) delay childbearing and not have children right after marriage; all of these were women, and all but one were married before age 18. There was also a number of participants, particularly those who participated in FGDs, who said that it would theoretically be ideal to wait until age 18-20+ to start having children, especially for women. Reasoning typically included to preserve the health of the mother and to ensure that the couple was “prepared” or “matured enough” to be parents themselves. However, this was often underpinned by discussions that demonstrated that societal expectations around shorter times to first birth almost always took precedence over personal preference.
“I wanted to wait a few more years before having any babies. But I was bound to at that time.” -IDI9, female, married at 12, age 18, 1 child
Fertility Rate, Birth Spacing, and Family Planning. By contrast, participants described there being significantly more leeway in decision-making around childbearing after the birth of their first child. After the birth of their first child, young couples were seemingly given more space to make their own decisions on desired number of children and preferences around birth spacing, without the same level of heavy societal pressure from community and other family members.
“[My in-laws] don’t want us to take another baby right away. They know how much pain I had to endure during the birth of my first baby at such an early age. So, they told us to wait until our first child grows up.” -IDI8, female, married at 17, age 19, 1 child
When asked, many participants explicitly stated wanting to wait somewhere between 3-6 years between their children. This desire was mostly motivated by considerations of the mother and living children’s health and was discussed by both male and female participants. Family planning was fairly openly discussed as a way to achieve desired birth spacing. Participants more often described family planning as being beneficial, particularly in promoting the health of mother and child.
“My first child was born unplanned. To avoid another unwanted pregnancy, I am taking [birth control] pills. If I conceive another child, then none of my kids will get a better life. After my firstborn is all grown up, I will think of taking another child. If I take another child now, then there is a huge chance both of them will get sick. -IDI7, female, married at 19, age 20, 1 child
Use of family planning seemed to be significantly less stigmatized after the birth of a first child than prior to first birth, though a few participants did mention religious stigma and family planning being considered a sin.
“After marrying, I will have a child. After [my first child is born], if I think it's necessary, I will use family planning, but not before that.” -FGD1, married male age 15-24
Impact of Conflict and Displacement on Childbearing
“Interviewer: Are people having children at the same age here?
Participant: Yes. But they could have had more in Burma; they are having less children here. There is no place to stay, there is no arrangement for education, and there is no food. In short, you can't feed, you can't teach, there's no income - that's why people are having fewer children.” -FGD13a, married female age 15-24
On Time to First Birth. When asked about the effect the conflict and/or displacement has had on childbearing, no participants discussed time to first birth, nor described there being any difference in the pressure to demonstrate fecundity soon after marriage in Bangladesh as compared to Myanmar.
On Fertility Rate, Birth Spacing, and Family Planning. Almost all participants, however, agreed that couples were having far fewer children and engaging in family planning more in Bangladesh than they did in Myanmar. Many attributed this to an increase in access to health education and family planning methods, as compared to what was available in Myanmar.
“In Myanmar, married couples may want to have 6 to 7 children. Here they want to have 2 to 3 children so that the children can be healthy.” -IDI47, female, married at 13, age 15, 1 child
“In Burma, people used [family planning] less than in Bangladesh, the rate of using family planning methods has increased here. [In Myanmar] there was just 1 method [available], which was injections [Depo-Provera]. People didn’t know about other methods, or even if others existed. They also didn't consult the doctor about family planning methods. Here, couples discuss family planning and go to the hospital and [community health volunteers] come here [to our homes] frequently.” -FGD8, unmarried male age 15-24
Many of the participants cited one or more constraints to childbearing within the context of living in camps specifically, the most common being a lack of educational opportunities for children, followed by lack of space for children to live in and/or play, followed by shortage of money/income, and poor access to health services. These sentiments were strongly held and evenly shared by both male and female participants. Less commonly-discussed constraints were general instability due to the conflict and not wanting their child to grow up without a home country.
“Here [in Bangladesh] we decide to have fewer children. We don’t have our own house here, and it is not certain how long we can stay here. We may have to go back [to Myanmar] if we are told to do so. Moving with lots of children is difficult. Due to these reasons, married couples have 2 to 3 children instead of 4 or 5 children. Men also don’t have any work here. They won’t be able to bear the expenses of many children. This is also a reason.” -FGD9, married female age 15-24
“We are living in a foreign country right now. We are refugees. We won’t be able to educate our children properly, as there are no provisions for education here. Besides, rearing many children will be difficult here. We may not get proper medical treatment… and look at our houses. We don’t have enough space to have many children. Where will they stay when they grow up?” -IDI33, female, married at 17, age 18, no children
“If I have a child [like my parents want me to], the child will receive no birth certificate here [in Bangladesh] because we are refugees… If the children ask their parents where our country is, we can't show it. So, [displacement is] causing much damage to us.” -IDI20, male, married at 18, age 18, no children
Only a few participants stated that they felt there had been no impact of conflict and displacement on the average number of children couples were having, of them, most stated that childbearing is up to “God’s Will” rather than personal decision-making or circumstance.
[1] Participants often used “Burma” to refer to their home country, as the difference between using “Burma” vs “Myanmar” is more distinct in English.
[2] “Eve teasing” refers to the act of males making unwanted sexual remarks or advances towards a female in a public space.